ごめんなさい
by AngelaStoneWood
Summary: AU. Ilyusha finds his twin crying and finds out something that almost stops his heart. Rating is high because of darkness.


**A/N: This is a bit weird story that I wrote in a bit hurry. In this story Labrador and Ilyusha are twins and they're living in a completely different world than the one where 07-Ghost characters live.**

**Please review and tell me what you think about this. Also, please tell me if you find any mistakes with my grammar since English is not the best of the four languages I speak and understand.**

**I might write a fic about what happens to Ilyusha lather. You can decide will I do it or not.**

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_Ilyusha_

It was quiet. It was _too_ quiet. It was _far_ too quiet. I couldn't hear anything inside the house. I knew that mother and father were outside having a lunch for the anniversary of their marriage. I also knew that Labrador should be home so there should be some kind of sound because of his movements or the music he was listening like always. The quietness wasn't normal. Labrador was always listening to music or doing something that would make some kind of sound. It was so eerie to hear the sound of quietness. It was so scary and distressing. I felt like I would be crushed by the pressure of the quietness. The sound was ringing in my ears. I felt like I had to break the ringing quietness.

"Are you home, Labrador?" I yelled. He should have heard that if he was home. He also would answer. At least he would do that if he wanted me to know that he was alright. I couldn't hear anything so I assumed that something was wrong. I started walking towards his room to check if something was wrong.

I knocked on Labrador's door when I had walked there. I heard nothing so I knocked again. That time I heard silent and muffled sobbing. I opened the door as silently as I could. When I looked inside I saw that Labrador hadn't heard the opening door. I saw that he was sitting on his bed and sobbing on a pillow. I opened the door a bit more and slipped inside the room. I walked so quietly that even a dog couldn't hear me moving inside the room so that Labrador wouldn't realize that I was there if I didn't want to. After just standing there for a while I decided to open my mouth.

"What's wrong, Labrador?" I asked softly.

Labrador's shoulders jolted up and he looked up to see me. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. His cheeks were also bright red from all the tears that had fallen from his eyes. His eyes were big from fear when he saw my face. He looked at me for something like five minutes and then he continued sobbing his face pressed against the pillow that was on his lap.

"You should know, Ilyusha", he said between the sobs.

I smiled sadly and sat next to Labrador. I ruffled his hair a bit before opening my mouth again.

"You know that I can't read your mind even though we are twins", I told him softly. "Please tell me."

"Your gang", Labrador sobbed. "They've been torturing me since the school started. Why don't you make them stop? Don't you get how much it hurts?"

My eyes widened. I hadn't heard anything about them hurting my brother at all. Moreover, I didn't even know that they had bullied people from school. I didn't know what I could say or do. I thought that maybe I could make them stop hurting Labrador but then I realized that they would just hurt him twice as much as now so that they could see me break down completely. I pulled him into a tight hug and tried to think about something to make him feel better. I looked down and saw some blood on the pillow that Labrador was holding. I quickly looked at his arm and saw something that almost made my heart stop. There were some fresh cutting wounds on his arms.

"How long have you done this to yourself?" I asked and felt that my mouth was completely dry.

"…Not very long", Labrador whispered. "I started just a week ago. It kind of helps me to feel that I'm worth something."

"Of course you are worth something!" I shouted angrily. "How dare you even think that you wouldn't be? You're my most precious twin brother!"

"…You have only one twin, Ilyusha", Labrador whispered.

"Thanks for reminding me!" I said and forced him to look in my eyes. "You're so precious to me **because** you're my only twin! No one can replace you!"

Labrador looked down and I saw that he had started crying again. His shoulders shook uncontrollably and his sobbing got louder and louder. I sighed and lifted him up. He was so thin that it was easy to carry him to the kitchen so that I could give his arms some first aid. I gently set him on a chair and took some bandages from the first aid closet. I cleaned the wounds and bandaged them as gently as I ever could. When I had finished the bandaging I lifted Labrador up again and walked to the living room where I placed him on the sofa and sat next to him.

"I'm so sorry", I whispered and hugged him again. I felt like I didn't want to let him go at all. I just wanted to stay near him and find a way to make him feel better. I felt his tears on my shirt and started feeling so bad for him. I just wanted to stab myself for what I did. I knew that I shouldn't tell our parents about this because mother would be so mad at him and only hurt him more. Maybe I would be able to tell about it to our cousins and their parents since they had always loved Labrador like their own family member.

"Please don't tell anyone", Labrador whispered between his sobbing. "Mother would hate me for this and father would think that I'm weak."

"…If you wish so", I answered even though I knew that I would have to break the promise in the future. I tightened my grip on him and let him cry as much as he needed and wanted. I prayed for God that Labrador would find someone pure who could love him and heal his emotional scars. I didn't care who, I just wanted someone to make him feel better. I wanted it to be someone who was better and more pure than me as I was now.

"Can you try to stop the cutting if I help you?" I asked. "I'll do anything you ask so please try!"

"I don't think that I'm strong enough to force myself to stop", Labrador mumbled and I realized that he was falling asleep. I stood up and let Labrador fall asleep while lying on the sofa. I went to the hall and took my shoes. I went outside and started walking towards the train station.

_I'll kill the people who hurt you!_

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_Labrador_

I was standing in front of your grave. You had died three years ago when someone from your gang had stabbed you and let you bleed to death. It had been just after two weeks since you had found me crying alone in my room. I had never stopped the cutting and it actually got worse when you died. When I met Castor and Frau I was able to decrease it for a bit but stopping had been impossible. I always remembered you when I tried to stop and it just got worse.

I was sure that if Castor or Frau would ever find out about my cutting, they would actually be able to help me but I would never even dream about stopping. I would never be able to do that. I just couldn't do that when I remember everything that I've lost.

I placed some flowers on your grave and walked away.

_I can't stop, Ilyusha. I'm sorry._

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__**I don't know how accurate this story is about cutting so please correct me if something is wrong. I don't want to live with wrong knowledge about that thing.**


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